In Weakness I am Strong.

It's been a topsy-turvy time since the last time I actually wrote my thoughts on this blog. Why does it seem like the more I chronicle myself, these posts have gone more from telling other people what to do, to realizing that I'm just as human as everyone else; that I make mistakes? I'm not sure.

C'est la vie, right? I guess it's a good thing. God is moving within me, and I'm so glad.

I've found myself drawn to a song lately. It's a worship song; I Will Exalt by Bethel Live. The lyrics read:

Your presence is all I need
It's all I want, all I seek
Without it, without it there's no meaning
Your presence is the air I breath
The song I sing, the love I need
Without it, without it I'm not living...

I'm finding this more relevant in my life. The more I pull away from him or stop seeking Him, the more I begin to gratify and forget Him who satisfies, the less joy I find in life. Like the C.S Lewis quote, God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing. Plain and simple. It's been harder than it usually has to get into the Word, partly because I can't find my Bible (it's around the house somewhere...plus, I can just use my iPod), but partly because my schedule has just been so full of stuff; quite honestly-- distractions.

It's unacceptable.

I need to regularly find time with Him like I did during the summer. But that was easy; what else did I have to do? It's one thing to read His word when it's a convenience, it's another to read it when it's a hassle or a struggle. It's another to read it when it doesn't make sense or it feels like it doesn't relate.

Yeah, I do feel a bit weak and beat up. Tired, fatigued. But I'm kinda glad that I am. It's at this time where I draw closest to God. The Bible says that God's mercy and grace is made perfect in our weakness, our failings in this small human life. So bring on the struggles, the breakdown, the turning points.

If I get to know You just a little bit more, then it's all worth it.