More than an Accident...?

What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?

I guess I could say that I sometimes wish that I could be a little less...outgoing and energetic. A lot of people see those as good things and traits that people work towards but usually I feel like people find it weird. Like, I try to be friends with everyone. I don't know why I do, but I can't help myself. I was the kid who tried to make friends with the guy who bullied him most of his early school life. I always look to the best in a person, and many times the best of them is never shown. Maybe I see the world through rose coloured glasses. Maybe that needs to change. Do I need to become a meaner person? Is that even possible?

A large part of me wonders why God made me so...vulnerable. Why is it so easy for me to have my feelings hurt, or my self esteem shattered? Why do I worry so much? Other people don't care about me, why do I care so much about them? I get physically sick worrying about some people...God knows they don't for me.
Why do other guys look so confident on the outside, even if on the inside they're just like me? Why is it so hard for me to fit in with guys? Even my friends sometimes joke about the girls I talk to you and the people I associate myself with...

Why do I have to be black?
I spend a lot of my time doing things that don't fit my racial stereotypes at all. Everyone asks me whether I play basketball. God, why did you make me so that I have the height and the attributes but not the desire? I don't feel like I fit in with other black people. I don't understand the accents, I don't get the jokes...it's a weird feeling; being alone with people that are supposed to be just like you.

Part of me thought it was something I did wrong. Is it something I did wrong?
God made me the way I am.

But why?